


some connor angst for the soul

by justjoshinya



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Other, You Have Been Warned, also like this is my first fic ive posted on here so yeet, also like tw for suicide, idk i felt like writing some sad shit, thats a thing that happens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-08
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-03-15 09:37:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13610622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justjoshinya/pseuds/justjoshinya
Summary: connor is sad so he does a thing





	some connor angst for the soul

**Author's Note:**

> if ur a heathen and didnt read the tags theres suicide in this so yea

it was about midnight or so on a school night and yet Connor Murphy; your local suicidal stoner was  
wide awake, he was sitting on the floor beside his bed. just staring at the wall, painkiller bottle in hand,  
he was about to down the whole bottle but he was slightly hesitant. mostly due to the thought of 'what if  
someone walks in and sees me about to fucking kill myself' he was nervous, to say the least,

his last attempt at this didn't go quite as planned. he had tried to slit his wrists but Zoe walked into the  
room right as he was losing consciousness and called an ambulance. he was rushed to the hospital at  
nearly 1 in the morning, he woke up the next day to bandages on his wrists and a sleeping Cynthia next  
to his bed with red puffy eyes. Connor assumed Larry was at work and Zoe was at school. if he was being  
honest, he didn't care. what he did care about, however, was the lecture he was going to get once his mom  
woke up,

back to the present Connor still sat on the floor though he was crying now, he reached into his pocket and  
pulled out the letter he took from that kid at school, what was he name again? he could hardly remember  
anything in the state he was in, he deiced now was as good a time as any to read it, he unfolded it and  
started reading it 'so his names Evan Hansen' he thought to himself, as he was reading it he got slightly  
angry at the mention of his sister but immediately felt sympathy for the kid, he folded it back up and placed it in his pocket, breathing a sigh as he held back more tears, he popped open the lid of the  
painkiller bottle and poured the whole lot of them into his hand,

he just stared at them for what felt like hours but was probably only a few minutes, he chocked out a sob  
and let himself cry, thinking about his life and how much he wants to finally end it, he's wanted to do  
this for so long so he had no idea why he was hesitating, 'fuck it' he thought as he put all the pills in his  
mouth and grabbed the water bottle from his bedside drawer, he swallowed the pills and just sat there, he  
was full on gross sobbing and trying not to make any sound so he wouldn't wake anyone up, he slowly  
closed his eyes with tears falling from his face, his last thoughts were of how much regret he has about so  
many things, how awful he was to his family, how awful he was to Zoe, he wished to could go back and  
stop all of this from happening, but there wasn't really much he could have done, 

the last thing he remembered was dropping the pill bottle and losing concioiusness,


End file.
